Disciples and Labels

One of my favorite things to study is the relationships that Jesus had in the bible. In particular I enjoy reading about the first 12 disciples. After Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by the devil he departed to Galilee and began his ministry of preaching to others. This is where he met the disciples and asked them to follow him.

The first disciples Jesus choose are important because none of them were perfect. Consistently throughout the Gospels we read how Jesus taught the disciples who God really was and what His word really means. Jesus choose a group of men with rough edges at best, sketchy backgrounds if we are talking truthfully, and at the worst would abandon Jesus in his greatest hour of need.

There was Matthew the greedy and corrupt tax collector and Thomas the doubter who didn't believe that Jesus was risen. There was Judas who betrayed Jesus and plotted to turn Jesus over to the officials. There was also Peter who denied Jesus in the hours leading up to his death and all throughout the Gospel had a rocky faith. He was either all in or all out. The rest of the disciples were not any more qualified. Jesus chose Simon who was a rebel fighting against corrupt government. He also chose Bartholomew who questioned whether Jesus was the real deal because he came from Nazareth, and what good would come from a poor town like that. The rest we know very little about, only that some were a tough group of fishermen.

So what do a bunch of fishermen, a rebel, tax collector, a doubter, a betrayer, and a denier and a brown-noser have in common?

They were not perfect and they all needed Jesus. These men all had labels. Some of them had very imperfect backgrounds that were questionable at best. But Jesus saw in them something good. He saw in them value. They were the diamonds in the rough (literally) that would become the rock of the early church. It is through Jesus' relationships with the disciples and early followers that we understand what Jesus was really teaching. Jesus was teaching us the power of love.

If Jesus saw value in a group of men as imperfect at the disciples, you can bet he sees good in us too. Jesus was preaching that through Him, we are made whole.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16 

God loved us so much that he sent his son into this world to save us. This is about God's love for us. God loves us more than enough.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

All of our brokenness, all of our labels, all of the sins of the past (and our future)are all wiped clean with God. Sometimes society sticks us with a label or tells us we need to be something else. Sometimes we do it to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we will never be good enough, strong enough, believe enough, etc. But it doesn't matter what your weakness is or how many flaws you have. God loves you no matter what. Labels don't stick with Jesus. Jesus loved the disciples and he loves us too.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2: 8-9

What a gift grace is! Unconditional love leads to grace. No hoops to jump through, no strings attached, never ending and infinite love. Nothing you can do can make God love you any more, and nothing you can do will make God love you any less. We don't need to be perfect because His love is always enough.

We all carry a label with us. We all think something makes us not good enough. But we are good enough and we are deserving of God's love. We are imperfectly perfect to God. God brought Jesus into this world so that we might know love and love each other. Real love. So that we might be brought out of the darkness too light and that we could become a light to each other.

We don't have to do anything but such a gift like that? It inspires us to love each other. It is so powerful that how can you NOT share it. When something is so good, every part of you wants to share that with others.

This pictures in this post are from our youth group last night. I had the kids look up scriptures about Matthew, Thomas, Peter, and Judas. I had them decide what label each of these disciples had. Before they did this I gave them 60 seconds to write down as many labels as they could think of that defined themselves. While they were working I wrote all of these down. We only had 8 teens and they came up with nearly 50 labels. That is a LOT of labels for any group of young adults to have.

My point was to show them that Jesus doesn't care about these labels. God's love is greater than any label they have. We all need to ditch our labels!

We are the next generation of disciples. I think we really need to lean on the stories of the early disciples and look at their relationships with Jesus. These disciples were not perfect, they got things wrong. But these mistakes and errors did not define their journey. The journey was learning to love God, love ourselves and love others.

It is also okay for us to get things wrong too. It is going to happen. We are no more perfect than the disciples in the early church. We are still writing our own stories and walking our own journeys with Christ. We all will betray or deny Christ at some point in our lives. The important thing is that we focus on love. God teaches us that love wipes out labels. Love should be the center of our relationships. Love is the solid foundation that we need.

It Takes a Village

Yesterday after nap Eleanor and I went on a little drive. In the morning after we ran errands we had passed a tractor working in the field. I wanted to take my camera with and snap a few photos of the beautiful spring day. I had just finished a blog post and reading a bible verse at the kitchen table. It was time to go pick up the boys from school. It was one of the busiest hours of my day.

"Mommy mommy look at me!" She said, "Look, see my hands?"

I was busy putting my coat on but I looked down.

There she stood by the front door, hands folded together. Finger tips touching. Smiling, and without a doubt praying.

I wanted to jump up and down. My boys pray, but something about the way she was standing there praying really caught me by surprise. I had my camera within arms reach and I just had to take a picture.

Gently I asked her who showed her to fold her hands together like that. I clicked the capture button. Click. She answered, " Mary." Click.

I asked her if she knew what that was. She said, "I'm praying mom. Like Mary." The shutter clicked twice more.

It wasn't mom or dad, grandma or grandpa, or seeing a friend pray. She definitely has seen all of those people pray. It was her Aunt Mary. My youngest sister. She was the one who made an impression on my daughter Eleanor.

We as parents are a constant role model for our children. We are the first to leave an impression on our children's hearts. We nurture them physically. We strive to love them and care for all of the spiritual and emotional needs. We hope to raise them well.

Sometimes though, the impression that makes a difference comes from someone else. It could a family member, a neighbor, a friend at school. Maybe a teacher or mentor or even a stranger. Community matters.

It takes a village to raise a child. Not because parents are not important. Parents are the most important relationship a child will have. However, other relationships are important to a child too. The diversity of love from many people shapes us into the unique person that we are. Everyone has a unique life experience. No one will live a life exactly like you. Yet, when we share part of ourselves we often connect because we see something in our relationship that promotes a value we understand and share.

Values come from relationships. We only understand values when we see them outside of our home. Parents can help label them and point them out to their children. They ideally model them in the home. This is good. But often it is observing someone else act out a value or listening to someone else speak on a topic that we start to fully comprehend what that value really means.

What does this mean for us then? It means when everyone works together in a village, a village is stronger. If every child is met with kindness, gentleness, and sincere love that is what a child will know. It means every person in the community becomes important. The task of raising a child should be something that belongs to all of us.

The more loving and healthy relationships a child has the more opportunities they have to thrive. There isn't a perfect formula, but our communities need individuals that love. They need aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas that love them. They need teachers that are excited to see their class every day. They need mentors and pastors that they can trust to lead them. They need to know that there is such a thing as a good neighbor who is looking out for them. People are a part of our life experience. It is these relationships in "our village" that define us.

It takes a village. It takes love.

Broken

This might look like a familiar scene. Especially if you live in the country and your neighbor has chickens. The kids played outside today and apparently talked our nice neighbor into letting them fetch some eggs from their chicken coop. For their efforts they were rewarded with an egg. An egg that they did not tell me about. Actually, after parading through the house they suddenly left and it got really quiet. I walked through my living room and found this on the floor. A single egg broke in half, it's contents on my wooden floors.

Well that explains it I thought to myself. No one wanted to explain to me why an egg was cracked on my floor. No one wanted to tell me how this unfortunate event took place. I never even heard the egg crack. I was in the same room but couldn't hear it over the sounds of kids in the house. It seemed like regular, every day noises.

We are all fragile just like the egg. We like to pretend we are tough. We are not as strong as we tell ourselves though. Apply enough pressure and our shells are bound to break, making our lives spill out of control. Who hasn't felt like they are a real-life humpty dumpty story. You feel beat up, like you can't possibly fall any farther, like things will never bounce back.

Sometimes, other people are breaking right in front of us and we don't even see it. Life distracts us from seeing. Sometimes people don't want us to see. They are broken only on the outside and no one can see the hurt and pain inside.

God sees though. God knows our brokenness. Even when there are no cracks, no messes to be seen, God always sees.

Maybe that is part of why God sent Jesus here to be with us. He loved us so much he brought his Son into this world, to break and to bleed and die like we do. Only Jesus didn't stay broken. Jesus died, rose from the dead, and will rise again. In His death, Christ defeated death. The bible tells us Jesus did this out of love for us. It also tells us Jesus is a healer. The list of people Jesus healed is huge. We are not just talking physical healing, but spiritual and emotional healing too. Everyone who believed in Jesus was made whole again.

Jesus can heal our brokenness too. With Christ the struggles of this world are transformed. Jesus can heal all of the suffering and pain of this life and take it away from us. His message teaches us that love does win. God's love wins. Jesus calls on us to be a source of healing and peace to people hurting in this world. When we love we send a message that all of the limits of this world can be overcome.

The broken egg on the floor is not the end of our story. God can heal us from the inside out even when we feel completely broken. He can give us peace. He will work through others to reach us. His love has no limits. His love is so powerful that he will never give up. When we surrender and let Him work in our lives he will bring us peace. It won't be overnight always, but he will heal us and end all of the suffering in this life. His will is to love us, and love us He will.

Light & Love

Oh my daughter Eleanor. You love to dance in the light for no reason at all. You love to sing in the morning. You love cuddling and you love tickle wars. You love being the silly, sweet you. There is so much beauty to be found in you.  You are fearless, nothing can stop you from keeping up with your older brothers. Life to you is an adventure, your spirit loves a good challenge. You are both strong and gentle. When your dad and I chose your name we had no idea how perfect it would suit you. Your name means "shining light" or "ray of light" and you are such a light to this family. Your favorite movie is Frozen. You love the queen Elsa and the princess Anna. You love Olaf and his warm hugs. I love it too.

I love the movie because I think it reminds us of three important lessons. The first lesson is that we should never live in fear. The second lesson is that we need to trust and be family to each other. The most important lesson is that love makes everything beautiful.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

When Elsa flees to the castle she is afraid. She has been hiding so much of herself for years. Hiding her gift which is such a big part of herself has made her lonely. Her life has been a prison without hope for her future. She is deeply afraid of everyone knowing who she really is. It is safer to hide her powers. When everyone finds out, she frees herself. She is finally able to be herself. What strikes me about this is how sometimes in life we all have gifts or parts of us that we hide because we are afraid of what other people will think. Elsa is finally happy when she lets her light shine and lets everything else go. No secrets, no regrets, she is herself.  She is finally able to love. Fear keeps us from living and loving life. God doesn't want us to live a life without love. Fear is not God, because love is all that God is.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

The second lesson I love from this movie is how Anna never gives up on her sister. Elsa has shut Anna out because she is afraid. But being the real sister that she is, Anna does not give up. She takes big risks at times and believes in her sister even when no one else does. Finally at the end she saves her sister in an act of great sacrifice. This is what family is about. Family is having faith in each other, believing in the best, and being present through the worst of storms. It is building a relationship with trust at the center. Family by blood or family by Christ, this is the foundation of healthy relationships that this world so desperately needs. God calls us to be the person we are for the love of others. Every day. Every person. Anna teaches us that love of God and living His word by acting fully in love to others frees us. Faith, Hope, and Love guide us and become our light.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

The greatest lesson comes when Anna saves her sister in her act of selfless love. Love we realize makes all things beautiful. Elsa's powers are transformed into something beautiful because she now knows love. She is loved. Love makes everything different. When love is at the center, our hearts are changed forever. Elsa now can share her gift, her light, with the rest of the world. This light drives out all fear and becomes a light for others too. The gift of love is not something to be hidden.

 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” 1 John 4:18

Love drives out all fear. Pure love prevails over all. Frozen really is a love story that teaches us to not be afraid. It teaches us to live with hope. It teaches us to have faith and to build our relationships with trust. Most of all though it shows us that love is the greatest gift and power in this world. Unconditional and pure love can transform our lives. Love is a light in this world that we should never hide. Love casts light into our lives and makes all things beautiful.

Someday my daughter Eleanor I pray you will see in this movie the lessons that I do. I hope that you will never feel like you cannot be yourself. I hope you will never be afraid of anything in this life. If you are afraid, I will be here for you. Through any challenges in life know that you can have faith in God. When you need answers your church family will be there. They will make you a light unto this world too. Trust in God, His light will make your own light strong. There you will find your answers. In your journey, there you will find peace. Most of all I want you to know love. I want you to know that God's love is the greatest power in this world. God's love is selfless, he loves you no matter what. Never doubt this, no matter what the world tells you. God loves us all. He calls on us to love others in this fashion, to bring His love into this world.

Eleanor, be a light. Always be a light. Be a force of love to everyone you meet. Live fearlessly, trust in the beauty of life, and have adventures that lead you to love life. View every challenge as opportunity to learn something new. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Don't be afraid to live. Live with courage and be brave. Be graceful. Be kind to others. Surround yourself with people that love you for all that you are. Chase dreams, explore the world. Most important though, always remember the power of love.

Emmanuel Is A Gift For Every Day

I have a million and one things to do today but I can't help it, I had to write out what I am feeling right now. Here we are, getting ready to travel for the holidays. I should be meticulously going over my to do list and packing and wrapping and plenty more. However, I just need to write some things out. I am filled with joy and I just can't keep it to myself.

Today, I helped my husband file a grant application for my children's school. He works for a company that every year offers grants to employees that volunteer locally in schools of up to $3000 for schools. Last year we helped a Cedar Rapids school receive funds for iPads and after school enrichment programs. This year we are applying for a grant for the Mount Vernon Elementary School. The funds will go towards new library books that the school is in great need of replacing. We will find out in February if the grant is approved but I am just so excited that we are in a position that we can help bless our community. It could be the book lover in me but giving $3000 in books really feels like Christmas!

It isn't just what is happening in our own home. This week I have been constantly reminded of all the blessings that God gives to us. We celebrated Oliver's 5th birthday yesterday but it is more than just that. I see blessings filling up the hearts of family and friend around me. I see reasons for joy everywhere.

My Facebook feed keeps lighting up with people sharing about carolers singing at their doorstep and strangers doing random acts of kindness. It is friends sharing how they donated to Toys for Tots. It is a group of moms helping another mom that needs help this Christmas. It is a picture of the Angel Tree at our church literally overflowing with Christmas gifts for children here in our city. These are just "small" things that have such a big impact on our communities.  When we give even the smallest of gifts, we give something more.

Earlier this month a friend shared that her adoption of two children from Ghana is going through. They have been on this journey to adopt for quite a long time. They have been through their fair share of challenges with many ups and downs. However, their hearts kept calling them to keep going forward. This week the visas for their children were finally approved. Even more of a blessing, they will fly home just two days before Christmas. It is the story of a real Christmas miracle. What a blessing to witness this miracle. Two children now have a loving home, all because they opened their hearts to God.

For over a year another friend has been battling lead in her home. Her son has lead poisoning and it has been a struggle for their family to manage. This fall their youngest child was also diagnosed with high lead levels. It was a blow to their family. However, with the support of friends they were able to push through and get some resources for her family. Friends and family and people from both Cedar Rapids and around the world have been pooling together through Lead Safe America Foundation to help. They now have enough funds for their family move into a temporary residence. Their family has been a blessing to hundreds of families here in Cedar Rapids. I love that our community is giving back to them when they need the love and support the most. I love that our community is selflessly supporting each other when we need each other. This is love.

So often we get busy during this season of the year. So often our lives stay too busy all year long. So often good news gets drowned out by all the bad things in life. These prove to me that good things still happen.

The reason for the season is not presents. The reason is Christ came to us many years ago as God's gift to us. God came to be with us. Emmanuel. God is with us. To witness these acts of giving and be a part of it, it gives me something more. It is life changing. It is transforming. To experience this is a real Christmas blessing.

These things are so encouraging to me. The empower me. They show me that the spirit of God is with us. That God is present in our lives. God is alive when we give to others. These are gifts of peace, joy, hope and the greatest gift of all: LOVE.

Christmas can be every day, because every day is an opportunity to give. Christmas is not December 25th. Christmas is forever. Every day is Christmas.

Give Peace.
Share Joy.
Be Hope.
Most of all, LOVE.

Every day. All the time. Forever.

Family Matter. People Matter: When the Holidays Become Something More

Three years ago my holidays looked different. A lot different.

For several years I worked in retail at our local mall. I worked to help pay my way through college while raising our young family. It wasn't particularly hard work or labor. I actually really loved my job most of the time. I worked primarily in children's clothing stores. As a parent I found it to be fun and rewarding to help other families shop for their kid. Sure there was the occasional bad day, but mostly it was a good job. That is, it was a good job for most of the year.

My job always became stressful and overwhelming around the holidays. It wasn't just that my hours doubled. It wasn't that I couldn't ever get weekends off because my employer didn't let anyone request time off. It wasn't the lack of parking spaces. It wasn't the crowded mall. It wasn't that our customers were suddenly grouchy, agitated and unfriendly. It wasn't the stress and the strain of the holidays. It wasn't all the frenzied preparation and never enough time to get it all done. It was how people didn't matter.

I remember one December morning with vividness. It was December 19th, 2009. My son's 1st birthday. It was also the day of my college graduation. I would get to finally walk with my class with my family watching. However, I had to work that day.  I had been assured I would have special permission to have the day off but no I had to work. Two things to celebrate, and I was working. What should have been a joyful day for our family turned into extra stress as I rushed from graduation ceremony to birthday party to my job. It was a hard. All this family to celebrate with us and I had to leave. I headed to work and as soon as I pulled out of the driveway I was in tears. I went to work, having to smile my way through it even when customers were rude (because of course it was my fault that we didn't have what they needed for their perfect Christmas gift). All I wanted to do was tuck my sweet boy in bed that night. To rock him to sleep to sweet dreams and kiss his forehead and stroke his soft cheek. To spend time with those people that mattered the most and had traveled just to be with me. To share stories, a moment with them. My parents, my siblings, my husband's family. Close family friends. The ones that mattered.

Time passed. I swore never again it would happen. My boss assured me it was a mistake, it wouldn't happen again.

The following year it was November. My husband's grandma was dying and we knew her time was close. As she was the last living grandparent, his family wanted to gather with her one last time. We wanted to be together for one last moment. Thanksgiving weekend was that time. Being a part time manager in retail I found myself unable to leave because of Black Friday. I fought with my company to be there with our family. One of the compromises they offered to me was that I could work in a store where I was going out of state instead. I ended up leaving the company over it. It was the single biggest factor in my leaving my job. The only regret I have is that I didn't leave sooner.

Today, my holidays look different. I have made a choice to spend my holidays with family. We gather every Turkey Day to be together. My husband's family are all Detroit Lions fans. That pretty much guarantees we will be watching football together. I come from a family of Green Bay Packers fans. This year we play each other on Thanksgiving Day. Lord have mercy on us all! In all seriousness though this is what we gather around and do. We play cards and board games. We get caught up in good conversation. We catch up with relatives over good food and drinks. We love on the kids and babies. We laugh at grandpa's goofy jokes and devour grandma's delicious pie. Oh how I love my grandma's banana cream pie and raspberry pie. Her cheesecake isn't too bad either.

Christmas is when we vacation with family. We retreat to the family condo in Colorado. It is our getaway. A place we escape to. We have snowball fights. We go sledding. We go skiing. We spend hours chatting at the hot tub with people from all over the globe. We have moonlit walks through the mountains and we admire how the lights sparkle and dance on the reflection of ice and snow. The smell of pine needles. The smell of fresh baked cookies. The mess of frosting and sprinkles everywhere. We attend the candlelit Christmas service up at the chapel. We sing Silent Night outside the church doors with strangers we have never met before. We eat pizza for dinner. We share laughs and drink hot spiced wine. More laughter. Someone decides it is great idea to sing Christmas songs. We laugh some more. The ice sculptures delight and the ice skaters dance round and round. The kids break out the nerf guns and the living room is transformed into a war zone of sofa cushions as cover and plush pillows as our shield. We build forts. We take long naps after a late big breakfast.

These are the memories I cherish. It is these experiences with my loved ones that bring me joy. This is what is important! The time that I share with people I love.

I don't expect everyone to have a holiday that looks like mine. I know everyone has their own traditions. But there is one thing I am thankful that working in retail taught me. I cannot share it enough. Family matter. People matter. When our lives get so bent and stretched thin that what matters is no longer in focus, people suffer. Our relationships suffer when we choose to not put people first.

Last year it hit me hard seeing these banners placed up high in the sanctuary of our church. The holidays are a time to share love, peace, and hope with others. These are the things that show people that they matter. This is what all relationships need. What all people need.

Sometimes our lives get so tangled up in the busyness of the holidays that we forget this. We forget what is important. Time blurs and it becomes a holidaze. It is really easy in this world. I saw it before working in retail. People chasing after things. Thanksgiving overshadowed by Christmas. Maybe it is the buy buy buy attitude surrounding Christmas. Maybe it is the pressure to prepare everything perfectly. Maybe it is the chase to give the perfect gift. Maybe it is the rush to get the best deal at midnight on Black Friday. Maybe we think we can buy our happiness with a credit card. Maybe going into debt for Christmas presents makes us feel like we can have it all.

Buying things. Buying items. Having stuff. A full shopping cart at Target or Wal-mart or anywhere else. Those things will never leave us fulfilled. Paychecks even will not make us happy.

It makes me wonder. Are we really buying gifts? Or are we buying into the idea that these gifts are what matter?

Are we consumers are we the ones being consumed?

These are questions that changed me.

Something changed in me when I started making an effort to put people first. I stopped looking at Christmas as something to give and receive. It changed how we celebrate Thanksgiving. It changed how we celebrate Christmas. It changed how we live. There are seven things that I do different.

1. I don't shop on Thanksgiving or on Black Friday. My conscience won't let me do it. I can't do it. Not knowing that there are other people out there who want to be with family. No matter what the deal is it is not worth the time away from family. I don't want to be a part of that.
2. When I do shop during the holidays I make a special effort to be extra kind. I smile. I say please and thank you. I wish them well, I make conversation. I tip extra. I forgive mistakes. I go out of my way to be polite not just to staff but even other shoppers. I always show this kind of respect but during the holidays when things get busy I feel it is even more important to remember that people matter.
3. I try to be very conscientious about my gift giving, especially with my kids. I don't want for them to grow up thinking that Christmas is about presents. It is about presence. My kids do receive gifts from us but we plan out their gifts so it is simple and it doesn't take away from the real meaning of Christmas. We want for them understand that Christmas is about God's love and Christ in our lives. We want for them to cherish time with family. Not just during the holidays. All year long.
4. We give to charities locally. Our favorite thing is to support a child through an Angel Tree. I actually get more excited shopping for a child in our community than my own kids! This year I also helped give through Operation Christmas Child and my children will be giving used toys to Families Helping Families. We give at offerings in our church to help with missions around the world that we believe in.
5. We countdown the days to Christmas with several family activities. We donate hats and gloves. We go caroling. We set up our nativity. We read Christmas stories together. We make hot cocoa and have a Christmas movie party. We make ornaments and homemade gifts. We want to experience things with our kids.
6. We try to shop locally and support people in our hometown whenever possible. I started my Christmas shopping this year by shopping at a craft fair. I bought the cutest handmade gifts from people that attend my church and live in my community. When the boys had a book fair at school I picked some books they really wanted. It is the little things like these that I feel are important.

The 7th and single biggest change is just spending time together. Life has taught me to value, to celebrate, this time with others. I choose to spend my holidays in this way because it shows people that they matter. This is how I share love, hope, and peace with others. This is the message we all need. We all deserve these blessings. Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Agnostic or Athiest. Whatever you are. We all need to to share love, peace, and hope a little bit more.

We have been so blessed these last years. I can't explain why these changes are so rewarding. When you show people that they matter, you realize it all matters. Every day. Every kind act. Every person is important. The holidays are not about gifts. They are about something more.

"What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” -Dr. Seuss