What if our relationship with God is like gravity?

Ever just feel like your life is completely out of control? Rushing back and forth between appointments, errands, and meetings. Maybe it is clutter, maybe it is your relationships, maybe it is your finances or your job, and  maybe you just don't feel like you have the time.

Driving with my kids in tow today I had a thought. We were having our own little "out of control" moment. We were on our way to story time but we were of course on the time and conditions set by my 2 and 5 year old. I was not in control. Not of time. Not of these kids. Not of the traffic lights and stop signs. Honestly I was thinking hey I am just lucky the universe let me have coffee and a running vehicle this morning!

I wasn't exactly upset that I didn't have it all together. Randomness seems to be how life with kids is, nothing is totally in my control. This is something I have to accept every day. Parenting is hard because sometimes we enter a survival parenting zone. The outcome of our efforts is not always in sight and we question ourselves. It seems like we are locked in a battle for our kids.

Today I just needed something to center me. I needed something to pull me together. And I thought, wow! I need gravity!

Gravity is a very powerful part of our life that we don't really understand, but we know it exists. It binds the fabric of our universe together. It is invisible. Still, it pulls on everything and without it nothing could exist.

"We know from Isaac Newton and his law of gravitation that any two objects in the Universe exert a force of attraction on each other. This relationship is based on the mass of the two objects and the distance between them. The greater the mass of the two objects and the shorter the distance between them, the stronger the pull of the gravitational forces they exert on each other." Read more: http://www.universetoday.com/75705/where-does-gravity-come-from/#ixzz2xqg7XRFB

You can kind of picture it as a cloth and a heavy ball. When we place the ball on a suspended piece of cloth the shape of the cloth bends and bows down. It doesn't break, it doesn't tear or rip. Instead the force between the ball and the cloth changes the shape of the cloth.

Gravity is kind of like faith. You can't see it, even fully explain it but it exists and it pulls at us.

God is always calling out to us and our soul pulls him to us too. Our souls want to be centered. The more energy and love we have for God and the closer we get to God, the stronger the pull becomes. We might run away from God, but the pull still exists.

In whose hand is the life of every living thing, And the breath of all mankind? Job 12:10

I needed something to center me today. I needed God to pull me back into orbit.  I needed prayer. I  really wanted that deep connection and relationship with Him today. I needed to know that even though I'm not in control, that I know who runs this universe.

"If God maintains sun and planets in bright and ordered beauty, he can keep us." -F.B. Meyer

God provides the balance that I need. I don't have to be in control because God is in control. God is a real force in this world and it is Him that I can trust in. When we have faith in God, he pulls us in tight. Our relationship with God is like gravity. Things happen in life completely outside of our control but it is because of His love for us that we can trust that God will pull everything together how they need to be. He will pull his arms around us and just love us. Through anything.

We might be afraid, angry, sad or a whole list of emotions but when we give these to God we are opening the door for a relationship with God. When we fully open up our hearts to God we lean in and our relationship grows. It is that trusting to work on that relationship that is the hardest part. We have to work at letting go of control. We let part of ourselves go and let God into our hearts instead. It transforms us.

The real transformation happens because he is always reaching out to us. He is always pulling at the fabric of this universe, working for good. It isn't about the outcome, it is all about His love for us through everything. It is about the gravity in our relationship. It is about His never failing desire to connect with us.

 I don't have to be perfect and have it all together. I don't need to be a perfect mother. I don't need to have all the answers. I need to be centered. I need to focus on God. Even in my imperfection, God gives me gravity. God can work through all of us through prayer. Our relationship with Him challenges us and transforms us to be the imperfect perfect person that we are. God's love is gravity.

It Takes a Village

Yesterday after nap Eleanor and I went on a little drive. In the morning after we ran errands we had passed a tractor working in the field. I wanted to take my camera with and snap a few photos of the beautiful spring day. I had just finished a blog post and reading a bible verse at the kitchen table. It was time to go pick up the boys from school. It was one of the busiest hours of my day.

"Mommy mommy look at me!" She said, "Look, see my hands?"

I was busy putting my coat on but I looked down.

There she stood by the front door, hands folded together. Finger tips touching. Smiling, and without a doubt praying.

I wanted to jump up and down. My boys pray, but something about the way she was standing there praying really caught me by surprise. I had my camera within arms reach and I just had to take a picture.

Gently I asked her who showed her to fold her hands together like that. I clicked the capture button. Click. She answered, " Mary." Click.

I asked her if she knew what that was. She said, "I'm praying mom. Like Mary." The shutter clicked twice more.

It wasn't mom or dad, grandma or grandpa, or seeing a friend pray. She definitely has seen all of those people pray. It was her Aunt Mary. My youngest sister. She was the one who made an impression on my daughter Eleanor.

We as parents are a constant role model for our children. We are the first to leave an impression on our children's hearts. We nurture them physically. We strive to love them and care for all of the spiritual and emotional needs. We hope to raise them well.

Sometimes though, the impression that makes a difference comes from someone else. It could a family member, a neighbor, a friend at school. Maybe a teacher or mentor or even a stranger. Community matters.

It takes a village to raise a child. Not because parents are not important. Parents are the most important relationship a child will have. However, other relationships are important to a child too. The diversity of love from many people shapes us into the unique person that we are. Everyone has a unique life experience. No one will live a life exactly like you. Yet, when we share part of ourselves we often connect because we see something in our relationship that promotes a value we understand and share.

Values come from relationships. We only understand values when we see them outside of our home. Parents can help label them and point them out to their children. They ideally model them in the home. This is good. But often it is observing someone else act out a value or listening to someone else speak on a topic that we start to fully comprehend what that value really means.

What does this mean for us then? It means when everyone works together in a village, a village is stronger. If every child is met with kindness, gentleness, and sincere love that is what a child will know. It means every person in the community becomes important. The task of raising a child should be something that belongs to all of us.

The more loving and healthy relationships a child has the more opportunities they have to thrive. There isn't a perfect formula, but our communities need individuals that love. They need aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas that love them. They need teachers that are excited to see their class every day. They need mentors and pastors that they can trust to lead them. They need to know that there is such a thing as a good neighbor who is looking out for them. People are a part of our life experience. It is these relationships in "our village" that define us.

It takes a village. It takes love.

How my son taught me to be selfless

Most parents raise their kids hoping for them to be nice. They want their kids to be a good friend and to be kind to others. We want other things for our children too. Things like a focus on academics, or a drive to succeed in their job, or healthy relationships. We want them to live well-rounded lifestyles. But if we could pick one simple thing we would say we just want nice, happy adults.

As a parent myself, I tend to worry about my kids. I over-analyze their actions. Every time they argue, or refuse to share, or are rude I convince myself that I am messing it all up. Between my three kids, someone is always making me wonder if we are getting it right. Parenting is such a challenge, so up and down. My fear is that we will get it wrong and end up with a big bill in therapy someday. I work myself up because I am so focused on raising nice kids. Nice kids that I want to be nice adults someday.

Today, something changed my perspective.

My boys' school is collecting money for Pennies for Patients. It is for children with cancer. I kind of blew it off because well we had other things we were working on this month and I assumed that an 8 year old and a 5 year old were just not going to be interested in giving their spare change to any cause. I forgot all about their little collection boxes. Until today.

While we were preparing to leave today my five year old son Oliver was running through the house with his bag half open. As he shuffled through the kitchen I heard coins clunking around in his backpack and spilling out onto our floor. I stopped him to make him empty his bag and clean up the coins, thinking he was bringing money to school for fun. When I started to open his bag and told him not to bring money to school he stopped me. "Mom! WAIT!" He told me with his hand up. He scooped up the coins and pulled out his little collection box and put them all back in.

Then it hit me. Wow. He was bringing money to school to give, not for fun. I was flabbergasted. We hadn't even talked about the penny drive together.

I counted out his coins with him, curious what he decided to donate. He had a total of $1.03 in change. Such a tiny little offering. I asked him if he really wanted to give his money and if it was important to him. He nodded his head yes enthusiastically. He insisted on it. Kind of a proud moment for me. I told him that this was really special and that I would match his gift. So we pulled out my wallet and counted out more coins together until we had a total of two dollars and six cents. He was just giddy at this point and his little sister thought this was of course very exciting so she was jumping up and down too.

 This whole experience reminded me of the Widow's Offering in Mark 12:41-44.

And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” 

I hugged him and I told him about the widow giving all that she could and how it was such a great gift. I told him his gift was like the widow's gift. It was small but it was great too.

My perspective changed today because of his willingness to empty his tiny little piggy bank. He wasn't just being nice. He was giving all that he could. He was being selfless. He was putting someone else before his own wants and needs.

Really, my son taught me a lesson about being selfless. His giving casts a big light on my own unwillingness to give. To my own reluctance to give joyfully. My son taught me that I need to look at my own self and do some thinking of my own. I need to be better about giving more of myself in several areas of my life. My adult mind struggles with this concept.Giving hurts sometimes. For him though it was easy. I want for my heart to be like his. I want to give with joy.

I don't just want "nice" kids anymore. I want us to be more selfless. I want kids that give from their heart in all that they do. I want givers. Givers that give something up and make sacrifices because it means helping someone in their moment of need. I want givers that use whatever they have available--time, money, talents-- to bless others. Because that is the right thing to do. Not just to be nice and polite. But to give people a little more than that. To give people yourself too.

FIVE

There is something about this month that just pushes my buttons and challenges me. It is not just the holidays. My middle child Oliver celebrates his birthday every December. Between that and all of the mushy gushy Hallmark, Cheerio and Coca Cola commercials my emotions are running wild. There is just not enough tissues to go around folks.

This year Oliver turned five. For some reason five is just hard. It pops up and feels like a big surprise.

Let me tell you about why 5 is wonderful. Five is:

• Painting
• Cutting with scissors
• Legos Legos Legos
• Snuggling in PJs
• Reading Dr. Seuss and Curious George
• Learning your alphabet
• Writing your name
• Building forts
• Being fascinated by bubbles and fireworks
• Singing songs
• Love of animals and nature
• Cheesy knock knock jokes
• Laughter over silly things

Five isn't easy either. Five is also:

• Not sharing with your sister
• Or your brother
• Wardrobe battles
• Stubbornness
• Temper tantrums over the.smallest.thing.ever
• Not uh. Uh huh. Not uh. Uh huh...
• Insisting on using the ninja turtles plate
• One more drink of water
• I don't want to

Five is being newly independent and wanting to do it all.
However, they still sometimes hold your hand. Sometimes they even admit they want your help. Best of all, they still think you are the cooler than any superhero and better than any toy all the money in the world can buy. Most of the time.

When they turn five they are almost ready for kindergarten and suddenly it feels like they will be off to their first prom. Then you blink and they are off to college or to their first job. Sounds dramatic but that is how five feels. Nothing slows them down. All you want is for time to stand still.

We celebrated Oliver's birthday early this year. We had a little sledding party with a lot of fun.

 

We had little mugs of hot cocoa and chocolates and marshmallows and candy canes for goodie bags. All the kids took one home to warm up after our fun in the snow.

I made simple little hot cocoa cupcakes. They turned out great, and of course I dropped a full tray of them on the floor. Twice actually. About two hours before the party. Good thing I made extras. Also, it was good that no one was home when this happened. Mommy was not happy. I *possibly* let out some words that shall not be written in this blog.

We decorated with little paper snowflakes that the kids made earlier in the week. It was our fun craft for the week. Making snowflakes with three kids means not a single one is alike.

The kids decorated cookies and had hot cocoa in-between sledding runs. There were lots of sprinkles on my floor. There probably are some still there actually.

Everyone went home. I caught my breath finally. After all the cake and presents and after all of our fun I realized he was going to be 5.

I just want five to stay. I want it to last a little longer. My kids sometimes frustrate me and leave me exhausted. I love them though no matter what.

If there is anything I want to remember about five it is all simple & fun things we do. Fun is not elaborate. It doesn't cost a bunch of money. It is simple moments where we just spend time together. Usually at home together.

I want more of that for five.

"Mommy Stuff"

When you become a parent it seems like your life become too busy for just about anything. Every second of time is important. However, every once in a while I find time to chat on the phone or catch up with a friend by email. This week I had a friend ask me what I have been up to other than my usual “mommy stuff.” I kind of had to laugh. So much of my life is centered on what makes my kids happy that I actually had to stop and think because I couldn’t recall the last thing I did that wasn’t for my kids. It took me a few minutes to get out of mommy mode and recall the last time I did something for me.

When my friend asked me what I had been up to other than mommy things, the first things that came to mind were all related to my kids. I thought of how I am having so much fun with my son Oliver at our parent-child swim lessons. I thought of what I was working on with the PTA at Thomas’s school this month. I thought of how much I enjoy playing in our backyard with Ellie every afternoon and how much I love to push her in her baby swing. I wanted to talk about all the cool finds for the kids that I found at a garage sale last weekend or what I plan on doing with the kids this summer or about our upcoming family vacation.

I do have things that I enjoy and do for myself. I enjoy photography, cooking, and have recently been very active in our church and I have even started working out at the gym. However, the first things that came to mind to describe myself were my kids. My children have become such a big part of my life that they now are part of my identity. What a powerful thing parenthood can be!

 It made me stop and think for a moment about how much my life has changed. Almost every part of my day revolves around my family and more specifically my kids. Years ago my former self would have said that this was a BAD thing. “Adults need freedom and the ability to do what makes them happy. Kids need to not be the center of the home. You have to put yourself first!”  I would have said. I would be furrowing an eyebrow at the new me. How dare I give up my independence and push aside my needs and wants. 

It is funny how parenthood can change a person and transform a person’s values. This is not to say that this is the case for other people, but for me it certainly has been a truth. Before kids (and I would even say as a new parent) I had a totally different perspective. Today my world is absolutely centered on my kids! I would give up anything and do anything to better their lives. Really important things from before seem not nearly as important. There are a lot of things that I would love to indulge in. For instance photography classes, a Kindle fire or all the new technology gadgets out there, the latest and greatest fashions, and pedicures every month. Those would be nice. When you have a family though, other things become important. Swim lessons, T-ball, family vacations, and college savings become important. Our goals as a family are to do everything to make both our lives and our children’s future better. I will give up a pedicure and latte any day to give my family the experiences that will forever change their lives. 

With Mother’s Day approaching this weekend I have to admit how much I love my family. I feel blessed to have children with unique personalities that lift me up every day. I love the way they giggle and laugh, their little wrinkles on their feet after bath time, how they explore the world, their curiosity, how they love learning new things, and all the extra cuddles and hugs I get from them (sticky fingers and all). Some days are challenging for sure, but they are always rewarding.  I love that Brent and I are walking through this journey of parenthood together. We walk through it together and we never take for granted those little blessings that we get each day.

Mom needs some donuts!

I think I will treat myself to some donuts this weekend. That is right, THIS GIRL has been working hard at the gym and is finally seeing some results. In January I lost 10 pounds! A huge huge victory for me!

My focus this month was to get my body used to what it feels like to you know... EXERCISE again. I would like to be in a position this spring that I can go jogging with Oliver and Eleanor in the double jogger. However, I have to be decent shape in order to do that. So cardio for me it is!

All month I have been increasing my workout in intervals. Week 1 I started out by walking for 2 minutes on the treadmill and then jogging for 3 minutes. Then I would repeat it. I did this each week until I was able to exercise for a full 25-30 minute period. Week 3 I increased how fast I was running and by week 4 I increased how long I was jogging for. By week five I was running for 5 full minutes and walking for 2 minutes. I now run 1.8-2 miles in a daily workout. My goal is to gradually increase how long I run for until I no longer need walking intervals. To any veteran runners out there this might not seem like a big accomplishment, but for me this is huge progress. You are talking to the person who did not like to run the mile in high school and would walk the last two laps. I am not a runner by nature. Scratch that, I am not an ATHLETE by nature! So *me* enjoying running, well that is just super!

As it turns out, exercising at the gym has some nice perks I had never even considered. On days I go to the gym, the kids all play in the nursery. Why is this so wonderful you ask? Well first off, mommy gets a nice little break from sticky fingers clinging to her legs and baby spit up down the front of her shirt. Even better, the kids tire themselves out and have a blast playing with new friends. In fact, they run off so much energy that they enjoy taking a nap when we get home! BONUS! However, the BEST part is I actually get to take a shower! Not just any shower, it is a "no kids invading the bathroom, no interruptions" kind of shower. The kind you have time to get dressed afterward, and can brush your hair and maybe put on some makeup! Hallelujah rejoice! What a nice little perk!

So maybe I don't need those donuts after all! My perk is getting a shower! Lovely isn't it? Parenthood problem #9017 solved.