Prayer Doors

After school today I was just a little bit distracted. I was driving home, caught up in my routine, but not fully there. I  was asking all the usual questions. How was your day? What was the best thing that happened? Did you get your spelling test back yet? Who did you play with at recess. As my kids told me about their day though I wasn't really listening. Not because I didn't care but because I was thinking about all the items on my to-do list and over analyzing my day. We arrived at home and I asked a question for the second time. My boys looked up at me and said, "Mom don't you remember what I told you in the car?"

BUSTED. I was definitely caught. I was not being fully present. I was not listening. Lucky for me my kids are quite forgiving.

Today reminded me of how I do this with God. I forget to pray, forget to listen. Or worse I go through the motions and say the prayers and know all the answers to questions without thinking them through. When I do that I am not fully respecting God. I am not really giving my faith the attention it needs to grow.

Faith is supposed to require constant attention. Life throws all kinds of challenges at us. All kinds of situations. Sometimes that means we need something to center on. We need something to help us focus. There are many different ways to do this. But the best way is making a plan to a create time in our day for prayer so we can connect on a personal level with God.

Prayer is really about having a relationship. God is always knocking on our door, asking in to chat. God is always going to work through other people in our lives even. But if you are too busy to answer the door you miss out on an opportunity to hear a new perspective. To see something differently. Worse maybe is you know all the answers. You don't take the time to see what else you can learn. To understand things in a different way.

I like to consider myself a pretty open minded person. But really I think maybe I am not. When I don't pray and when I don't make myself fully available to God I am closing a door. I close my mind off to change. I am not building a relationship . Instead, my relationship with God suffers.

Being present in prayer does take dedication and time. It is an investment in my relationship with God. It is a hard thing to work on. It is something that some days I do better than others. Some days I fail miserably. If I am being honest I would say I fail almost always. Prayer is work. And yet, the more I work at it the better my relationship with God is. Even more of a surprise is the times I do succeed. These moments I like to think of as prayer doors.

Prayer doors are the moments when we make a real connection. I think it is these rare, good moments where we make a connection that make prayer worthwhile.

God loves us unconditionally. He doesn't want experts. Not prayer experts, not even expert Christians that can quote the bible front to back or tell others how to live. He wants us to have a real relationship with Him. He wants us to open that door.

God does accept the hot mess that is me. The hot mess of me who is forgetful, not present, selfish, overextends herself just a bit too much, sometimes yells, worries way too much, has many fears and doubts, wants to be control and have it her way, and can't seem to find the time of day to pray. That isn't even the full story on me. But he accepts me.

He accepts all of us as we are. He sees through us. Even when we shut the door he sees the real us. He accepts us even when we answer the same question over and over and miss what he is telling us a thousand times over. He doesn't just forgive us, he loves us exactly as we are, exactly where we are.

It is understanding His love that keeps me going and keeps me praying. His presence keeps me hopeful. It tells me that maybe in His presence I can be present too. I think I can open that door.

Brave

The youth group served a meal tonight for families at the Willis Dady Emergency Shelter here in Cedar Rapids. We prepared a spaghetti dinner together at church before departing for the shelter. I had not been to this shelter before. I have served meals to homeless or needy families in the past but never here in Cedar Rapids.

I really wasn't sure what to expect from this visit. I knew we would eat a family style dinner with the people living there but I wasn't sure who I would meet and what I would face when I walked through those doors. I was somewhat anxious. Not because I was afraid. I was anxious because I wasn't sure who I would be called to serve.

The shelter's website has the following quote by one of my favorite authors.

"Sometimes you don't know when you are taking the first step through a door until you are already inside." -- Ann Voskamp

 This is a truth. We did serve many wonderful people tonight when we walked through those doors. Little did I know though that I would meet someone very special. Someone who would change me.

As we welcomed families in to grab a plate of dinner I met a mom and her little boy. The little boy's name was Tim*. He looked like he was about the age of my son Thomas. I asked him how old he was and found out he was 8, almost 9 he proudly told me, in third grade. His family recently moved to Cedar Rapids. We ate our spaghetti dinner and I told him he had to have brownie from the middle because they are the best ones. As we sat there we talked about school and making new friends in new places. He was a bright young boy, really smart and excited to tell me all about himself.

We talked about super heroes. He told me Spider Man is his favorite. Which of course I had to tell him that Captain America and Thor are my boys favorite super heroes. Marvel Comics have the best heroes. He told me he thought Captain America was the best super hero because he believes in doing the right thing and not just fighting bad guys.

I then found out he wants to be in the army when he grows up. Although he admitted last week he wanted to be a bounty hunter and before that he wanted to be a police officer. I asked him if he believed in protecting people and helping people. He agreed it was very important and I told him that I thought he would be good for a big job like that. I told him I know a police officer and a marine and maybe he will grow up to do big things some day just like these men.

We talked about his rainbow loom band bracelets he was wearing. I found out he was given both of them by friends. I couldn't help but think of my own kids and how they like exchanging bracelets with friends too. I swallowed hard. I knew our family was taking these simple joys like loom bracelets for granted. We don't appreciate all the "stuff" we have and I know it.

Before I knew it was time for Tim to leave. His mom thanked me many times and I know she was very appreciative for sitting with them and just talking to her son.

I am really honored to have met Tim today. He taught me that even the smallest person can be brave. He was in a new place and in a new school but he still had a smile on his face. I know he misses his old home and school. I know it had to be hard. I could see it on his face. Yet, he still had hope. For that I think he is the bravest person I have ever met. I was blessed to meet him. I think maybe he served me more than I served him.

I saw into someone else today. I walked through those doors and everything changed. I met someone very small but very important. I met a little boy named Tim. A little boy who just changed my world.

Tim, I see you.



*I have changed the name to protect this child's identity.

A letter to Thomas

Thomas turned eight on Friday. We had friends over to celebrate his birthday today.

Here is Thomas blowing out his birthday candles. For the first time he stopped to make a wish before blowing out the candles. It kind of melt my heart.

He won't tell us what he wished for. But I had to smile because this birthday showed me how different he is just from last year.

Thomas,
You love to lead. You are a great leader.
You are smart. You think for yourself and like a good challenge.
You are impulsive and like to have fun in the moment. But you are getting better about knowing when to stop and think before you do something.
You make friends easily because you love to laugh. You do silly things and it makes everyone smile.
You have a strong sense of morals. You want things to be fair.
You are a big help around the house. You always help your sister and you even help your brother too. Even when you don't want to.
You make mistakes, but you always are willing to try again. You are persistent.
You like to win. You are ambitious and I know you will do big things.
You are observant. I see you. I see you watching your dad and I.
You are starting to ask good questions about life. I love seeing you think out problems and wonder about God.

Eight I think will be fun. I know we will have our share of challenges ahead of us. But I know that means there will be even more opportunities for you to grow. I love seeing you grow up. I love our "date" nights. Our birthday breakfast was my favorite. Your dad and I are proud. We love you.
~Mom

Birthday Reflections

Last weekend I celebrated my 27th birthday.  Birthdays I think are a great time to reflect back on our past. I like to think about all the different blessings and challenges I have had as well as what opportunities and obstacles I might face in the future. This birthday was no different.

I did have a lot of blessings in the last year. We traveled literally around the world to China, I had some amazing service opportunities in our church, and we moved to a new town and made several new friends that I hope to have for life. I had our challenges too. Our middle child had surgery and I am continually exhausted from the stress of raising kids in a home where one parent is both working full time and in school. Grad students everywhere I know you can relate. Life balance is hard to achieve right now. I am not always my best self.  There are days where I am just in parenting survival mode because those perfectly laid plans I made are just not going to happen. I have to let it go.

Letting go I think is always the hardest battle. You are admitting that some things are out of your control. Maybe you even realize that everything is out of your control. Suddenly things look really uncertain.

So much of life is unknown. To overcome that, we make big plans to make ourselves feel like we can control life. We fill up our calendar and schedules with important to-do items. However, sometimes we plan so much that we micromanage every minute of our time. I definitely do this. My plans become elaborate and I fill in any "free" time to make myself more productive.

One of the things I really learned this year was in one of my parenting survival mode moments.  Here I was trying to get my kids to bend their wills to my plans for the day. Let me tell you: getting a headstrong seven year old, a distracted five year old, and a defiant two year old to cooperate is no cakewalk. We are talking about a battle of epic proportions. Here I stood trying not to lose it because MY kids were not sticking to the itinerary, to MY plans!

I realized that this is no way to live life. My kids don't need to be in a ton of sports that have us constantly on the go.  We don't need to say yes to every opportunity that we encounter. Our calendar shouldn’t be so complicated that it practically needs an interpreter as if it is in some foreign language. Soccer, dance, swimming, commitments – these things by themselves are not bad things.  It is when we over schedule and are busy all the time that this is bad.  When we live like this our calendar dictates our lives. It controls us. It defines our lives instead of the other way around. 

I will be the first to admit we are so guilty of this. I need to make sure we as a family change our priorities so time, calendars, and to-do lists don’t define our lives. I need to put God first, family second, everyone else next.
 
I don’t want us to be so busy that God becomes something random.  I don’t often get things right with God. I will definitely admit I don’t always put God first. But I think I’m learning that maybe a little less is more for our family right now.  I’m less distracted from prayer, from church, from my relationship with God when I center my life in this way. Freeing up my schedule actually frees me. I think that is definitely something I can keep on my to-do list.

Fiancial Peace: It is more than just finances!

 

The year I graduated college I had over $27,000 in student loans and nearly $5,000 in shared debt with my husband. We were both working at the time and felt a bit overwhelmed with our finances. We were still new in our marriage and roles as parents and money was not something we knew how talk about. Really, we didn’t know much about money at all.

We knew about Dave Ramsey and had heard about his books but it wasn’t until January of 2010 that we decided to find a Financial Peace University class to attend together. As it turned out, a local church was offering it. Not being members of the church, we decided to attend one of the services before starting the class. So Sunday January 31^st our family attended church for the first time in 2 years. We signed up for the class, which actually started on Valentine’s Day. Not exactly romantic. As it turns out though it was the start of a love story. Something amazing happened. Because of Financial Peace University we went to church every Sunday for a year after that.

Financial Peace is a class that has changed our finances. It changed our marriage. It changed us. But it also changed our faith. It opened the door for us to become a part of a church. FPU provided us with a plan to real peace.

Dave Ramsey’s plan for financial peace is a blueprint that can help any family succeed. Married or unmarried, young or old, unemployed or working, no matter your income or debt level, it has the tools everyone needs. It changes your perspective, it pushes you to be accountable and it encourages you to chase dreams.

 

The following is a list of the 9 Lessons in FPU:

·  Super Saving

·  Relating With Money

·  Cash Flow Planning

·  Dumping Debt

·  Buyer Beware

·  The Role of Insurance

·  Retirement and College Planning

·  Real Estate and Mortgages

·  The Great Misunderstanding

From the list, it is clear that there is something in FPU for everyone. Each lesson teaches very important lessons.

The great thing though is that when you go through the class you get to participate in group discussions. Members are encouraged to share whatever they would like. No pressure, no budgets criticized, just discussion.  I usually get the most out of this part of the class. Because every family’s personal finances are different I can really learn a lot from everyone else in the group.

The couple that is saving for a big vacation or a house may have some tricks to teach me about saving money. The couple with grandchildren may have some insight to offer me about how to prepare for retirement. The single mom may have some advice on saving for college on a small budget. The family overwhelmed with medical bills may have suggestions I need to listen to about insurance.  Often times I find myself reevaluating my budget throughout the class and wondering what I could do different with our finances, what I could plan different.

Most importantly, the class encourages me to make changes that allow me to live different. You live like no one else so that later you can LIVE like no one else. It is about building wealth, not just so you can enjoy it yourself, but also so you can give wealth to others. Financial peace becomes something greater than just your own finances.

When whole churches build and give wealth like no one else, they change the entire way a community operates. When families make different choices together as a team it changes an entire family tree.

Brent and I took the class 4 years ago and have no regrets. We have taken the class twice and will now join the class as leaders for the 3^rd time at the end of this month. We are very close to being debt free and leading Financial Peace is our way of paying it forward. We really believe this class changes everything. Even if a single family attended we would be happy because that is how important to us. Financial Peace is something we want to share with everyone. It is a blessing we hope to share with all.

As this class begins I have three things to ask.

1) Would you consider attending? 

Financial Peace is better when everyone gets involved. I believe the more community involvement we have the stronger this program will be. Check out the class details online. Bonus: There is childcare and I will bring snacks. Can't beat that!

2) Also, would you consider sharing the class information with friends and family here in Cedar Rapids?

Would you invite them to attend with you? Maybe you can't attend or maybe you are not interested, but do you know someone who would enjoy this class?

Share the class details on Facebook. Share this blog post even. Direct them to Lovely Lane's website. Offer to attend the orientation on Monday March 10th with them if they are not sure if they want to attend. Maybe you have even taken the class before. Tell them your story. Help them feel welcome. You can even give them my email or cell phone number. I would happily answer any questions someone might have.

3) Last and most important, would you pray for us?

Send us some happy thoughts. We would love to have your blessing as we lead this class. Even if you don't attend our church and live far away we would love to have your support. Prayer is powerful and we appreciate the love and support for all of our friends and family.

God Bless & Thank you! 

Jessica 

Unwritten

This is my prayer rock. I made it last year for a bible study group. We were asked to write down a word that best described our faith and to write it on the prayer rock. I thought and I thought and I really couldn't decide what best suited me. Every word I could think of didn't really describe my journey and what I felt in my heart.

As I held my rock cupped in my hands I was reminded of how throughout life we pick up rocks along the way. We carry burdens that weigh us down. Some rocks are regret, guilt, or shame. Others are mistakes we can't forgive ourselves for. Some are even feelings we carry with us when others throw their own rocks at us. Some are the size of pebbles and others are boulders. These rocks are all the trials we face in life great or small. Sometimes we beat ourselves up with these rocks. We carry them around and they weigh us down. It is hard to go places carrying rocks. They slow us down and hold us back.

But rocks are not permanent. Wind and water erode rocks and carry them away. Fire melts rock down to ashes. To dust.

Faith is kind of like that too. Jesus came into this world and loved us so much that he carried our burdens for us. He carried a cross, suffered greatly, and died for us. He even forgave us. After he died his disciples laid him in a tomb and sealed it with a huge boulder. It really isn't a mistake I think that when he rose from the dead that this rock was moved. His love for us is greater than any rock. Any obstacle. His love is greater than the burdens in our life.

Jesus taught us something incredibly powerful. Love is the greatest of all. His example teaches Christians everywhere that we are called to carry the burdens of others. This is the most powerful act of love that we can give. It means sometimes making choices outside of what we know from the Bible. It means sometimes using our hearts and not just our heads. It means doing the right thing even when it hurts. It means putting our own rocks down and picking up the rocks of our neighbors. It is following Jesus even when we don't know what the rest of our story is.

That is what faith is. Living out an unwritten story. It is trust. It is accepting all of the unknown and walking ahead. It is not easy. It is a journey we choose every day.

What this simple exercise made me realize is so much of my faith is still a blank canvas. My story is yet to unfold and is not finished. My faith is unwritten. It is unwritten because I have a choice. I have a choice to let God write my story.

God has written a story in all of our hearts. We are all called to love and serve one another. When we choose love, our story can be a wonderful part of God's creation. We follow Jesus and live the Gospel. WE become the story about God's love. Our story can be saying yes to God and letting him into our hearts. One day at a time.

I do still have a few rocks I carry. But what I am finding is that every day on this journey those rocks seem a lot smaller. These trials of this life will not hold me down. They will not break me. My prayer rock is a daily reminder of that.

I could choose to write my own story. Or I can choose to let my story to be unfinished. At first glance, it looks unwritten. However, I think it is the beginning of something more.

Our Family's 40 Day Challenge

Tomorrow is the first day of Lent for many Christians around the globe. To most people it brings up a mental image of ash crosses on foreheads, fish frys, and pancake dinners.

Growing up in a Catholic church we were encouraged as kids to give up something for 40 days. This was a simple way to eliminate perhaps a small vice we would be better without. It was also a means of honoring the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for us all when he died on the cross.

There are of course many different ways to reflect on our faith during Lent. There are prayer calendars with a different thing to pray for every week. I especially love this one from the United Methodist Church. There are gratitude journals like here at Momastery. There are 40 days of service challenges and mission projects to focus on acting out teachings of the bibles. Some people sacrifice and give up something for Lent. Many use Lent as a time of confession and repentance. 

Ultimately though, Lent is a time for personal growth and reflection.

As a challenge to myself I will be blogging through Lent this year.

Sounds crazy right? Yes, it sure is. But I think it will be a great goal to aspire to. Some of the topics I will cover are:

Unwritten

Why I Go to Church

Our Financial Peace Story

Putting God First

Words for a Purpose

Relationships are Important

Parenting Survival Mode

Moms Are Not the Same

It Takes a Village

Empowering Youth

Garden Friends

The 5:1 Rule

Let it Go

When Kids Make Church Hard

Walking the Second Mile

Who is God

The Under Served

A Passion Story

Worrying

Grace—Beautiful Grace

So my friends, I am inviting you to join me this Lent. I hope to inspire and encourage and share a few stories along the way and maybe just a bit of my own faith journey. I hope you will enjoy Our Family's 40 Day Challenge.

Blessings,

Jessica